Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
