somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
