FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
