How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
