I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Blow job season was short but glorious.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
