Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just sucked dick on a ferry
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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