Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
