I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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