idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
