Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
