i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
