he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
