her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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