Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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