I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
