Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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