dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
