It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
