but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
