I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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