We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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