you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
