i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
