Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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