she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
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There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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