Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
