I wanna bring you to show and tell
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
