Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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