They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
