and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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