So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
