haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
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