ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
