I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
