Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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