haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Did you pee in the oven last night??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
