I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
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Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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