you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
