Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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