I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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