And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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