Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
