I am in a vortex of obligation.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
NoShamevember. You game?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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