Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
