apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
