There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
