I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
