Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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