Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.