I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything