What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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