I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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