She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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