I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize