I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
