I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
