I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
