im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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