What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
