my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
