I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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