meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
His nipple licking is glorious
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