his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
