I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
