Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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