At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
